


1:32 am

by Rapida



Series: all the times [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 09:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11056164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rapida/pseuds/Rapida
Summary: Kara can't sleep because life's been awful, so she calls the only other person she knows won't be missed by a significant other, who won't be bothered by Kara's plea for help.orThe one where Kara takes Lena to the pier and they throw rocks in the water and talk and Kara just breaks (because Mon-El's abrupt exit left Kara emotionally broken and Lena's more than used to the feeling).





	1:32 am

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is always welcomed.

They’re throwing rocks in the pier, trying to see if they can determine the exact, precise second they crash into the water with groundbreaking plops. During the day, they would have been able to see the rocks hit the tranquil surface; but now, at 1:32 am, with the moon glistening above them and the city lights reflecting off the dark water below them (the lights shimmer and dance in bright reds and deep blues), they can do nothing but guess, assume, suppose.  
  
“Thanks for coming with me… I- I know it was an odd request and, like, I know it’s _late_. Gosh, it’s _so late_ , but I couldn’t really… I mean, it’s been a little hard to sleep recently and-”  
“Kara, relax. I’m here for you, whatever you need."  
Kara takes a second to make up her mind, but then releases the breath she was holding and says: “Okay." She cleans her hands on her sweatpants, and sits down to the left, tossing her legs over the side of the edge, pitch black liquid, ocean, _space_ , underneath her. “Let’s play twenty questions."  
Lena laughs, “you already know almost everything about me, Kara."  
“Aha! Keyword: almost. _Almost_ everything, Lena.” She smiles and clears her throat. “Besides, who wouldn’t want to know more about you?”  
  
There’s a sudden heaviness in the air that makes it difficult for Lena to breathe. She hadn’t expected the night to take this turn. She knows (or at least, she assumes) that Kara doesn’t mean it to flirt; she knows that Mon-El left a hole in her best friend’s heart and that she needs time for herself; time that Lena is happy to give. So, with a shaky inhale of what little air Lena _can_ breathe, she grins and says: “Fine. You go first then,” and she says it nonchalant; she says it as if nothing happened, as if she didn’t feel the shift in the mood and the spike of her heartbeat.  
  
It honestly means everything to her, but she’ll give Kara the space to recover and the time to understand herself (who she _is_ , and who she _loves_ ). Lena can wait as long as it takes for _her_ , and _only_ her because it’s Kara _fucking_ Danvers. (Lena Luther will always do anything for Kara Danvers.)   
  
Kara purses her lips together and thinks. “What’s the thing you want most right now?” She pushes her glasses up.   
  
Not a second later: “Love." Lena answers. She’s the smallest in height, but not in character; not in will; not in determination nor ambition. Her long black hair is tied in a bun high above her head, and she sits cross-legged, hunched forward. Instead of her usual corporate _mess with me and you’ll feel the consequences_ demeanor, she opted for her old MIT sweatshirt, some loose jeans, and the only pair of converse (black, of course) that she owns. She looks like a mess and she knows it (Kara doesn’t; Kara thinks she looks beautiful), but she doesn’t care. Kara needed her, so she dressed quickly and darted out of her apartment without a second thought. (She realized some time ago that she would do anything for this woman.)  
  
Lena's left elbow rests on her left knee, her chin lying above the open palm of that same arm, and she prays for the pounding in her ears and in her chest to simmer. She hopes the blonde can’t hear it.  
She should’ve thought her answer through, _damn it_.  
(Too bad Kara always hears everything that has to do with her- with _Lena_. Not that Lena accepts _how_ anyways. Not that Kara has figured out _why_ anyways.)  
(She has a hunch as to Kara’s… “pastime”, but she still doesn’t believe it. She’s in denial.)  
Their knees are almost touching, and Lena swears her heart skips a beat every time her friend’s (her _best_ friend’s) hand ghosts over her thigh. There’s desire in her breath and desperation in her posture. Lena knows exactly by whom she wants to be loved (by the blue irises, tan skin, and blonde hair beside her), but she doesn’t want to ruin their friendship (her _only_ friendship). Kara isn't ready.

( _Not yet,_ she tells herself.)   
  
Kara slaps her hand on her knee and whistles. “Wow, that was fast."  
  
“Easy question." Lena’s eyes glisten with a small yet easily recognizable fire: _hope_. A silent wish that things will get better; that the universe has good things in store for them; that she will find love and be happy and successful, and that she won’t (under any circumstance) end up like the rest of her family: dead and remorseful and hating and despising and _evil_ because she doesn’t want that _at all_. No. Goddamn it, _no_. She wants to _do_ good, to _be_ good. Is that too much to ask of others? Is it too much to ask for a chance?  
  
Lena’s hands ball up into fists because she’s angry and desperate and hopeful and-  
  
-she blinks and breathes. Now is not the time.  
  
There’s still _hope_ in her bones; _hope_ in her step; and _hope_ in her heart.  
  
Lena turns her head and smiles invitingly, open, curious. “What about you?” She asks.  
  
Kara has been quiet, has been thinking. She’s taller. And skinnier, but also sweeter and nicer. Somehow (Lena _knows_ how but she doesn’t want to, she _won't_ , believe it) also stronger. Where Lena is hard, and rugged on the outside, crafted after years of mental abuse from her mother and mountains of pressure placed upon her shoulders; Kara is all smooth edges and warmth. There’s rock solid steel hidden just below the surface, but she’s more than that; she’s more than the power she packs under her punches. Kara knows suffering and she knows loss, just like Lena, but she also knows rebirth and love. Lena's not sure she can say the same for that.   
  
Kara looks at Lena’s eyes, those with calculating blue and green irises (and the bright, blinding spark of _hope_ in their pupils), and then shifts her gaze over to the boats. Some of them are small and some of them are big, but they’re all stuck in the same deep and dark sea.  
  
She lingers there for a few breaths, a few heartbeats, a few eternities, before answering: “Balance."  
  
And it’s such a peculiar thing to want, such an unusual thing to wish for, that Lena can’t help but guess, assume, _suppose_...  
  
“And happiness,” Kara says a second later. She picks up another tiny piece of stone and throws it.  
  
They both hear the faint plop of the rock breaking the surface, breaking the trance, breaking their problems.

"I-" Kara suddenly sobs (this is it; Lena has been waiting for her friend to break for some time now. There's only so much you can keep bottled up after all.), and her eyes fill with tears. "I want to be _happy,_ Lena." 

"Oh, _darling_ ," Lena scooches closer and throws an arm over Kara's shoulders. She uses her other hand to rub her knee supportively.

"It hurts so much _,_ Lena,  _so much."_ She says between sobs and she says completely heartbroken, and Lena's heart breaks for her too. 

"I know, darling, I know," Lena takes a deep breath. She presses a kiss to Kara's temple and takes a second to collect her thoughts. Kara was there for her when she needed her, so now she has to be here for Kara. She has to be strong and steady for Kara. "Sometimes it's good to hurt, darling. That way you learn to appreciate and cherish the moments when you  _aren't_ hurting, when you're _happy_." 

Kara cries a little harder and buries her head in the crook of Lena's neck a little deeper and holds the hand tossed over her shoulder a little tighter. 

"You've been through a lot, Kara. It's okay to break. Just know that you're surrounded by people who love and care for you." 

"Including you?"

"Including me." 

"Yeah?" 

"Always, Kara,  _always."_  
  
Life can be shitty, and life can be a fucking mess, but at least they have this moment full of insight and peace and nice, _very nice_ , company and conversations.  
  
They keep throwing rocks.

 


End file.
